While I was pregnant, Mark and I shied away from reading the parenting books, attending parenting classes or making use of any community resources. We lived in an ignorant little bubble of self-assurance, absolutely certain that we could handle whatever was to come with the birth of our child. We scoffed at those who studied, researched and readied teams of helpers in preparation for their babies.
Prior to Henry, it is likely that I had one of the most massive egos that ever existed without automatically turning into a black hole - I'm pretty sure that's how black holes work.
Once Henry was born, we managed for about 8 days and then things started to fall apart. We, with spent adrenaline tanks, shot nerves and depleted sleep reserves, began to stumble. After several figurative round-house kicks to the face, we crawled battered and bloody to our families, upstairs neighbour-angels, community agencies, public health nurses, doctors and friendly passers-by on the street begging for help. They, with absolutely no air of smugness, rallied around us and carried us through those first weeks and months.
At that point we made the decision to move from Vancouver to Victoria, where we could be closer to a much larger volume of family and friends. Our dear friends and upstairs neighbours at the time would say repeatedly, that "it takes a village", and Mark and I are now firm believers of the village concept.
Since moving to Victoria we have reaped the benefits of community. Henry and I have started swimming lessons; we have friends and family over to the house all the time and I have recently started a social cooking group for new parents. I have had an overwhelming response to the group and have managed to garner three sponsorships to date - a local market, a composting/recycling company and an organic home food delivery company. These businesses have been amazingly enthusiastic and eager to be involved with a bunch of moms that are working together to feed their families local, healthy, preservative-free food.
I had the distinct pleasure this summer of meeting my brother-in-law and sister-in-law and watching them, with a very new baby, continue to participate in their regular activities and maintain community relationships that had provided them so much support during their pregnancy and birth. I have watched my brother-in-law and sister-in-law here in Victoria do amazing things in the community and raise awareness about current issues through their tremendous artistic talents.
Just being in proximity to these hubs of activity has inspired me to connect with the community and involve people in things I am passionate about. There are few things more rewarding that finding others who are excited about the same causes and I can't think of a better way to build a sense of citizenship and commmunity in Henry.
Involve your kids in the community - teach them to build relationships that will give them places to fall back on when hey face challenges. Know your neighbours. Maintain relationships with local businesses. Take your kids along to community events that interest you and bring them along to volunteer for causes that excite you. Teach your kids to be kind to people and in kind to rely on other people. Teach them passion for their community.
I will not always be able to help Henry, but if he knows how to be part of his community, I hope that he will always feel connected and supported.
That's enough for today.....if anyone wants to hold hands and sing "We are the World"......you know where to find me.
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