The Peanut Butter Barrier

I'm certain that this will make me a pariah amongst my peers, but I proceed anyway.  I gave Henry, who is 8 months and a few days old, peanut butter with his apple this morning.  I know.  If anyone needs a few seconds to compose themselves, please enjoy this video I found.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMNDdnYOjWw

Recent thinking generally dictates, with respect to introducing little ones to certain foods, to withhold eggs, milk, peanuts, wheat, soy, tree nuts, fish, and shellfish until the child is a year old.  I did some more reading online, though, prior to my extreme experiment, and it does seem that attitudes are beginning to shift (back) towards a higher variety of food earlier . This article, dated November 23, 2011, details some of this newer thinking: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/8909837/Children-allowed-to-be-picky-eaters-develop-allergies.html

 

So, I used my decision-tree skills and reviewed the facts.  Solid food has been going well.   Henry has liked everything we've given him so far and his throat hasn't swollen shut once.  Neither Mark nor I have any specific food allergies and we live within walking distance of the nearest hospital, so should the little guy react poorly, we'd certainly make it there in time.  Just to be safe, I had Mark ready the car seat and start the car.

What an awful way to have to think.

I have found that a lot of parenting advice and literature is based in fear.  Fear of illness and fear of vaccines.  Fear of choking.  Fear of accidents.  Fear of abduction and evil people that put razor blades in candy apples.  Fear of post partum depression.  Fear of jaundice and anaphylaxis.  Fear of germs and dirt and animals.

I try to keep my head about me, but I fall prey to this stuff all the time.  When we were still in the hospital after Henry was born, we were bombarded with educational material.  We were given a video called The Purple Cry.  We were told (as I'm sure is the standard operation procedure, by every health care professional that entered our room) that we must watch this video to prevent us from wanting to shake our baby.  We were asked skill-testing questions about material from the book at regular intervals throughout our four day stay.

Now, to be fair, there was an incident in a Sears baby section where Mark had words with one of the  styrofoam practice-babies after it didn't want to fit into a baby carrier.  So realistically, we may have been singled out for the video.  But, I just remember thinking, "Is this going to be so hard, that I have to receive education on how not to shake this little creature to death?"  That's tremedously extreme for a first time Mom.

The other main piece of literature that we received was a tome, entitled "Baby's Best Chance."  I wondered what titles didn't make the cut: "We Think Your Baby May Be OK if We Send Him/Her Home With You," or, "Baby Might Make It," or my favorite, "Good Luck Suckers."

I'm a realist in many senses, but one of my absolutely favorite things about having a baby is the pure sense of optimism and wonder that comes from this little being.  He is a blank slate, and through the examination of my values, virtues and flaws, I can carefully encourage him to become a fantastic, well-rounded little person.  I will keep him safe through the use of common sense, calls to my mother and high school physics knowledge.

I fully believe that we, as parents, are innately programmed to care for our children.  I do see the value in child-care information, but as a back-up.  As reference material.   I think that the current fear-based way in which a lot of this material is delivered ultimately does a disservice to new parents. There is no chapter on trusting your gut. There is no video pep talk about reminding yourself that you're doing a fantastic job even if you're having a bad day.

This would be my preferred approach to new-baby literature.  It would be a big picture book, like Henry's board books. 

The first chapter would show a maniacally desparate Mom holding a tiny, wailing creature with a clock that reads 4:36 AM.  The caption would say, "I better you never thought you'd be this tired and not die.  But 6 months from now, you'll miss how little she is." 

It would then have a picture of an extremely tired Mommy holding a screaming baby with two little teeth buds in his bottom jaw, with a caption that reads "Teething.  It sucks.  But it will pass and you're doing a great job." 

There would be a section that showed a frustrated Mommy trying to stuff food into a child that is swinging his arms like King Kong while twisting out of his highchair like a crocodile in a death-spiral.  She and he would be covered in the food, and none of it would be in his mouth.  The caption would read, "He'll have to feed himself at some point.  It not, he'll just live in your basement forever."

Real life stuff.  From experience.  Not from fear.